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Clutter
Amy wrote to us wanting to know how she can help her boyfriend's family beat clutter...
Q
Dear Sorted!
My boyfriend's family lives in constant clutter. His mum works extremely hard to make ends meet, but has little time to maintain her house and garden, let alone time to organise her life, bedroom, bathroom, study, kitchen and garage. They still have old toys, sporting goods and papers dating back to when they lived in Hong Kong over nine years ago.
Their family and friends, including I, would love nothing more than a clean and tidy house and garden for this lovely, caring and generous family.
Please help!
Amy
A
Hi Amy
Constant clutter huh? That's a drag to live with. Even harder when busy lives take over and nothing seems to change (except the clutter growing like a disease!). I'll tell you a secret...I'll tell you what an organised and clutterfree person would do to change this situation.
First, they would make time to make change. It's impossible to reduce clutter without doing this. This may happen in two ways:
1. Coordinating a working bee where one room at a time is tackled. Calling in the whole family (and/or friends) for a day to work hard with some hands on organising. I call this "binge organising". It might involve:
-deciding what you want to achieve with the working bee (be realistic!) and draw up an action plan BEFORE the working bee. Is it to clear out particular storage areas? Which ones? Is it to clear surfaces? Is it to reduce the quantity of stuff in a space....what percentage of stuff needs to go? (I recommend somewhere between 30-50%). Where will unwanted goods go to? Who will take them? Is the storage remaining suitable? What from Hong Kong days is memorabilia and what is rubbish? How much time will you spend decluttering and who will be responsible for which tasks? You'll need to know what you want to achieve, how you want to get there and have focus.
-Being clear about what the occupiers of the space want: randomly chucking out someoneelses stuff is not helpful: it's hurtful. Anyone helping declutter should only do so with compassion and grace. Nothing should ever been removed without the owners permission. Nothing. This does make for a tiring day for the occupiers, as constant decision making is challenging and confronting. Be gentle and supportive. Try not to hound or nag but gently suggest options. Defining what is useful/loved/needed is an artform in itself. That's why Professional Organisers exist!
There is a place in all our lives for sentimental items, but there needs to be a limit on how much of this is kept. Decide on a box, chest, drawer, and limit memorabilia to what will fit in that space. Goes without saying that flat, small items are best :-) Photograph awkward or bulky items eg, toys, hats, impractical furniture and honour the image instead of the item.
-It is generally extremely effective to remove all items from a space (eg a cupboard), wipe out the shelves and then put back only what's being kept - starting with the largest items first. when the cupboard is near full, it's time to stop. There has to be a little room to move, or what I call "room for the future". Never have overflow. Never.
-Try not to get lost in the "finer details"; paper, photos, jewellry, memorabilia, mixed flotsam jetsam - like the junk drawer. Basically, anything small and time consuming. I call these things "fine tuning" and can be done at a later date. Focus on bigger items, key pieces of furniture, storage containers, shoes, bedding, hanging clothes, sporting goods, luggage etc Systematically work your way from largest items to smallest. Tasks like untangling jewellry or sorting through pens and pencils is best done while watching telly!
-It's mandatory that you allow enough time in the latter part of the day to COMPLETE the work: tidy up, remove rubbish, put things back where they belong. If you don't do this, the time spent will have been in vain and your space will look and feel worse than when you started. I can't stress how important this is! Try 70% organising time and 30% clean up/put away time.
-Particpants of a working bee should all be showered with love and delicious food at the end of the day! Take away food is best :-) no one wants to cook at the end of a busy bee day. Plan a relaxing evening full of rewards like a much-loved DVD, chocolate and some couch potato action.
-Bear in mind that organising is not a one-off chore. You will have to do it again in a year or two because the very nature of humans is that we collect. And we have homes and offices that we keep filling. Even Professional Organisers!
2. Ongoing organising. This is a slower process, but just as effective. This means committing to organising on a regular basis. If you want to get fit, you have to do it regularly. If you want to save money, it's best done every week or month. If you want to learn Italian, you need to practice often. Same with organising.
So it's pretty much like binge organising but in smaller doses. It means tackling smaller areas more regularly. A bedside chest, a small bookcase, one cupboard in the kitchen, a corner of the shed, one drawer of the filing cabinet. You will get great results if you do even 15 minutes per day. Trust me!
EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS. Even it if means having a permanent "go" box - a box to go to charity that lives near the front door. Items are added to as you see or touch them: trousers that no longer fit, unwanted tupperware, excess stationery. Even at my house, this box is fed on a regular basis. It feels so good to let go of things that are excess to my needs. This week I added two old cushion covers, a dress that is too big, a top that doesn't fit, some old notepaper I like but will never use. As soon as it's full, I kiss it goodbye and take it to the local op shop. And I've never missed a single item - in fact, I can barely reacall the items I've let go.
Believe it or not, MAKING regular time for delcuttering is the SINGLE thing that organised people do that keeps them clutter free. They regularly reassess what's important and what's not, they tidy up and put things away, they plan ahead and manage the time and things in their lives.
I wish I could wave my magic wand or send the organising fairies over (where is Your Life on the Lawn when you need it?!), but if your boyfriend's family TAKE RESPONSIBILITY, FOCUS and MAKE TIME too get their house in order, it can be done. Common sense, hard work and some methodical action will bring great results. Even with busy lives.
Good luck - keep us posted!
Lissanne
Organiser Extraordinaire
